New Moon Revisted
by Horus.Potter
Summary: I decided to take it upon myself to rewrite New Moon. I loved the books, Stephenie Meyer created a fun and exciting world with her vampires and werewolves and the sleepy town of Forks, I however decided to twist the story slightly. Spoilers abound.
1. Chapter 1

New Moon - Revisited

JANUARY

FEBRUARY

MARCH

Charlie was threatening to SEND me to Jacksonville, I had to prove to him I could be better. I had to be better. Everything in this town now reminded me of _them _… of him. I felt numb… more than numb, emotionally evicted; as though my heart and soul had checked out when _he _left. But I couldn't leave now; abandon the thoughts that he was real. He had to be real. So I would try, really try, to move on. I would see my friends, I would do more than go through the motions. Because honestly, what would I do when I graduated anyway? Leave to find _him_? No. I had to get over this somehow. I would absorb myself in other things. Activities. Friends. I could do this.

I've been trying to hang out with Jessica, and her ability to talk about herself helps. Relationships are still hard, it's hard to be around my friends who are so happy together, but I will keep at it. One day at a time.

"Bella, Billy and Jacob are coming over to watch the game tonight. Did you have plans, or…" Charlie left the question open ended – this was my cue to fill in with my plans. Since I didn't have any, and I couldn't come up with a convincing lie I settled on half-truths.

"That sounds fun." The lie of the statement. "I'll stay here with you guys."

Charlie nodded, apparently convinced of my ability to string words together to make a sentence.

"Want me to make some snacks or something?" I asked, attempting to revert back to helpful Bella… it was hard.

"Billy's bringing some snacks and pizza." Charlie smiled; apparently my refocused efforts were working.

"Okay. I'll just finish up my homework before they get here." I had my books out already on the dining room table, pouring over Calc. 2.

"Sounds like a good plan." He nodded, enthused by my studious behavior.

The time passed quickly, I was absorbed in the math, which I was excelling at since I had spent so much time drowning myself in school so I wouldn't have to think.

I heard the purr of a car before I knew what it was. I was eager to be distracted from the slight hole tearing apart my chest so I nearly killed Charlie in an attempt to answer the door.

"Hey Bella." Billy said cheerily as Jacob wheeled him into the house.

"Hi Billy, Jake." I smiled at them, the sensation felt strange on my face and I almost stopped myself but when Jacob smiled back I found myself only smiling more.

"Bella." He said, "long time."

"I know right. I should try and get out to the res more. Or you could come here." I playfully hit his arm, the gesture was so natural, like we'd been best friends forever.

"Sounds like a good idea to me." I loved the way all his teeth showed in his cheesy grins. It was like he never held back.

"Come on kids. Game's on." Charlie said from the living room, I hadn't realized Billy had escorted himself into the other room.

"I left the pizza in the car. Be right back." Jacob ran out to the car and I settled myself onto the couch, Charlie lounged already prepared for extra innings.

Jacob came back in a flash with two large pizza's and a pack of sodas.

"Think that'll be enough food." I joked.

"You should see Jacob eat." Billy said.

"I don't eat that much." Jacob muttered, blushing.

I smiled again, still unfamiliar with it as I tried it out; bring my lips slowly up, not enough to reveal my teeth, but enough to feel the unused muscles lifting.

The game was underway and I immediately lost interest but Jacob and I distracted ourselves with other talk; school, cars, life. He filled me in on his finally repaired Volkswagen Rabbit. He was easy to talk to, when it came time for Billy and Jake to go I found that I didn't want him to. Being with him had helped. It had made me forget the numb state my body was constantly in.

I had to see him again.

"Where do you think you're going?" Charlie asked me as I headed toward the door the next night, I never went out with friends so I had no real reason for a curfew, but it was getting late I guessed.

"Um, I was gonna stop by Jacob's… if that's okay?"

"It'll be nine thirty by the time you get there." He said, his tone implying I could leave if I wish.

"I know. I just thought, since it is Friday…"

"Oh. So it is." Charlie lost track of time as much as I did lately. "Well, if he's up for it. Have fun."

I smiled, relieved to not have to go to bed early just to stop the pain. "Thanks!"

"Don't forget you have work tomorrow though." He tacked on, the parental controls returning.

"Not until twelve. I'll be fine." I vowed.

"Okay then." He returned to the game and I was free.

The drive to La Push wasn't long, but with my new founded hatred for music and my inability to see the scenery at night it was pretty boring. I found my way easy enough through the dark winding roads, to the small red house set in the woods.

I smiled as I climbed out of my truck and almost ran for Jacob's front door. I knew that soon I would have salvation from the pain; from the crippling effects the memories of _them_ had on me. I knocked on the door with an excessive force and slinked back, feeling guilty for my eagerness.

When the door opened and light flooded the porch I was staring into the handsome face of Jacob Black. My smile was nearly uncontainable as I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Bella!" he opened the screen door and wrapped his arms around me; a bone crushing hug.

"Hi Jake!" I said, not bothering to squirm from his grip.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was bored. I hope that's okay. I could have just texted or something I guess…" now that I was here I felt exceptionally lame.

"Awesome. I was finishing homework, but do you want to go out to the garage?"

"Sure." I smiled, glad that he wasn't weirded out by me.

His garage was very manly. I didn't understand even one thing inside it, except what appeared to be a dismantled car. I looked outside the garage to see the rabbit sitting docile in the driveway. I looked back to the heap of scrap metal and vague frame of a vehicle.

"One car's just not good enough?" I asked playfully, sitting on a rolling chair.

Jake smiled following my gaze to car in progress. "It's a hobby." He shrugged.

"Can I see you at work?" I asked.

"Sure. If you get bored though just let me know." He immediately picked up tools and began his work.

We chatted idly for what must have been hours as he worked and worked on the car. I was so caught up in being in his company that my phone ringing in my pocket nearly knocked me out of the chair.

"Dad?" I asked without looking at the caller ID.

"Bella! Have you any idea what time it is?" I didn't.

"Umm. Like eleven?" I asked hopefully.

"Get home right now!" he barked. I was used to Charlie not being so authoritative. It took me by surprise.

"I'm sorry Dad. I'm with Jake. We lost track of time."

I could hear his heavy sigh and in a much calmer tone he added. "Bella, it's almost two in the morning. Will you just try and get back now?"

"I'm sorry dad. I'll be right home." I ended the call and grinned sheepishly at Jake. "Looks like I gotta go."

"I can't believe how late it got. I should have kept better track of the time." His voice was apologetic.

"It's fine." I waved him off. "Dad's happy I'm being social again so he doesn't really care."

Jake looked at me, not masking the concern that crossed his eyes. "I'll walk to you to your truck. It can get tricky in the dark, with all the tree limbs and what not."

"Thanks." I smiled, relieved that he didn't ask to talk about _that night_.

"So Embry's having a party tomorrow night. It's supposed to be res kids only but we all get to bring someone, so if you wanted to go that's cool." Jake shuffled his feet and I knew my answer meant more to him than he let on.

"Sounds fun. What time?"

His returning smile sent my muscles into a mimic. "Like eigtht thirty."

"I'll be here at eight."

His enthusiasm was contagious. "See you Bella."

"Bye Jake."

I went to work at Newton's Sporting Goods from twelve the next day until five. It was a fairly slow day for a Saturday and Mrs. Newton worried it might be a side effect from the recent animal attacks, and sightings.

"I suppose people don't exactly feel like hiking when there's a heightened risk of attack." She scoffed as she rearranged some hiking boots. "Because clearly the animals weren't there before, it's only now they've magically appeared. Mikey dear could you please rearrange those canteens, they look sloppy."

Mike sighed and went over the shelf he had already arranged five times that day and began once again to please his mother. Mrs. Newton dropped a particularly heavy stack of boots and cursed as she broke one of her manicured nails.

"Bella dear, could you take over for Mike, I'm afraid I'll need his help with this mess." I smiled and rushed over to take Mike's place by the canteen display and he trudged to help his mother.

The day ticked on with no more than a handful of customers. Mike and I chatted idly about class and movies; he was willing to catch me up on all of the films I had missed in my departure from reality. Eventually the subject wandered, where I knew it would, to him asking if I would go out with him. I sighed, having seen this coming as I had every day since I arrived in Forks.

"Sure Mike." I smiled, I would go out with him, he would see how painfully boring I am, and he would move on. Simple as that.

He seemed stunned by my response and he waited, almost eagerly as though I would tell him I was kidding.

"Well great!" he said after more than a beat. "Um, awesome, what about tonight?"

I sucked in a breath through my teeth; Jacob's party (well, Embry's party) was tonight. "I can't tonight." I admitted. "I've been invited to a party on the reservation."

"Aren't those just for res kids?" he asked skeptically.

"Well my friend Jake lives there, so he invited me." I said defensively. Honestly, as bad a liar as I am, if I was going to lie I would have come up with something more convincing.

"Oh." I took note that he seemed okay with the word 'friend' but not that said friend was male. "Well how about next weekend then?"

"Sounds good. Friday?" I decided to offer a day so he didn't think I was permanently avoiding him.

"Great!"

"Bella," Mrs. Newton came back into the store, having gone to run some errands. "You can go; it's just far too slow today."

I looked at the time on my cell phone, it was four o'clock, only out an hour early but I'd take it. "Thanks Mrs. Newton. See ya Mike."

"Bye Bella!" he said enthusiastically.

I hopped in my truck and headed first for the grocery store and then the library before heading home to Charlie's. I pulled in next to Charlie's cruiser and noticed Harry Clearwater's truck parked on the side of the street; so they must be back from fishing. I walked into the house, laden with groceries and said 'hello' to the men sitting in the living room; it was then that I noticed Billy, but no Jake. I put away the groceries then headed back into the living room.

"Heya Bells." Charlie said with a smile. "How was work?"

"Slow. Those bear attacks have really gotten people spooked away from hiking I guess." I sat down on the free chair and continued small talk. "How was fishing?"

"Fish were biting today. Harry caught a forty five pound halibut." Charlie said with a nod.

"That sounds impressive." I agreed, not knowing anything about fishing.

"Halibut can reach in the hundreds of pounds," Harry added, "But I'm impressed with the one Sue's cleaning and frying up tonight." he smiled and it almost made me smile. I should learn to be good at something, like fishing, or car repair.

"So Jacob's told me you're going to Embry's party with him." I had briefly forgotten it was Embry's party, and it occurred to me this party would be at _his _house, not Jakes, and that made me nervous.

"Uh, yea, I hope that's okay."

"These parties are for the kids of the res." Billy said, his tone unreadable. "It's going to be fun; the kids always have a good time. You'll enjoy yourself." He smiled at me in a fatherly way and I felt relieved. Somehow, Billy's approval made me less nervous. It was as though I somehow already belonged with the La Push kids.

"Thanks. I'm looking forward to it." I looked around once more, no sign of Jake. "Where is Jake anyway?" I asked, now that the subject had been broached.

"Quil called and said he found Jacob a part for his new project, so he went to see if it was worth it. Auto mechanics can be a pricey hobby." Billy said, taking a drink.

"I bet." I agreed blandly. The party wasn't for four hours, and I was hoping for some sort of distraction.

I decided to do housework, laundry, scrubbing the bathroom, menial things I forget during the week which can no longer be neglected come Saturday. The men in the living room remained fixed on entertaining themselves and that was fine for me. I could only handle fishing and sports talk for so long.

Harry and Billy left together around seven when the conversation and beer had run out, Charlie picked up the mess they had made in the living room and smiled at me, doing homework on the breakfast nook table.

"It's Saturday night Bells, and you're studying?"

"Well the party's not for another hour or so." I said, crossing out a sentence on the rough draft of my English essay.

"I want you home by at least midnight." Charlie said sternly and I was taken aback by his authoritative tone.

"Sure. Absolutely. Last night was a complete fluke. Won't happen again." I assured him, smiling as best I could (which was getting a lot better since Jake beamed into my life).

"Don't you want to get ready or anything? I thought girls took hours to get ready for parties." I felt bad for Charlie, suddenly having a teenage girl in his house must be hard on him sometimes, not matter how much he loved me.

"Oh, well I was just planning on wearing this." I said looking down at my converse, jeans and sweatshirt. "Should I change?" I asked him without thinking of who I was talking to.

Charlie, predictably, held up his hands in surrender. "You're asking the wrong person." He said helplessly. "You're mom might still be up though, it's only ten out in Florida. You could ask her."

I smiled, and grabbed my phone where it sat idle on the table. I waited for the phone to engage and realized I was being ridiculous. It was just Jacob and his friends. Who would care what I wore? I hung up before it could ring on her line.

"I probably shouldn't." I said to Charlie's questioning gaze. "I just mean, it's only my friends. Who cares what I wear?"

Charlie nodded and I thought he had had enough of the girl talk so I saved him by making an excuse to finish laundry so he could be free.

I finished making my bed and looked at the clock to realize it was eight. I smiled and grabbed my keys and my purse heading for the door. "I'll be home by twelve. Don't wait up!" I said to Charlie as I bounded to the truck and off to peace.

I met Jake in his front yard; he was wearing shorts and a sweatshirt, and as I jumped out of the truck he wrapped me in a spinning embrace.

"Bella!" he exclaimed and I smiled into his shoulder, where I had hidden my face from the swirling forest.

"Aren't you freezing?" I asked, noting his shorts as he put me down.

"Nah. Feeling pretty warm actually."

I rolled my eyes and took his arm, "So where does Embry live?"

"Just over on the other side of the trees." He points even though it's dark now and I can't see a thing he's pointing to except a small speck of orange light, which I'm presuming is a fire.

"Cool."

He leads me through the trees, navigating the fallen tree branches and roots. There's a slippery patch of moss I lose my footing in, but Jake is quick to upright me. I smile and he doesn't seem annoyed at my clumsiness, doesn't even scold me for not being careful. I guess he figures I'm only human. _Something _he_ would have neglected to realize. _I think this and gasp as soon as the words fly through my head. Thinking about... _him _is hard enough, but to think _negatively _about said Cullen; that had never happened before. Jake pulls me out of my thoughts with a soft chuckle and I realize he had been telling me something, apparently an amusing something. I chuckle weakly, hoping it suffices.

Jake steps on a branch that cracks with an audible echo, even over the sound of a radio close by.

"Jake?" I recognize Embry's carefree voice wringing through the din.

"Hey guys!" he calls back loudly.

We emerge into the clearing and I see that there are a lot more people here than I know. Embry and Quil are smiling at me since we've met a few times. I say hi, relieved to recognize a few people at least. But as I look around I see a lot more kids, and some even older than me.

"Hey Bella." Embry says with a warm smile. "Thanks for coming. I throw these parties around spring term every year. It's always nice to get everyone together."

I nod, agreeing only to be polite; I wouldn't normally enjoy large social gatherings, being somewhat of an introvert if I'm being honest with myself.

"Let me introduce you." Embry takes my free arm and leads me away while Jake and Quil catch up.

"Hi Quil." I say as we pass, to show I remember him.

"Hey Bella!" he smiles shyly and I get the feeling he might like me more than he lets on.

"Bella, this is Sam, Paul, and Jared." Embry's tone changed slightly as he introduced these three boys, none of whom were wearing shirts. They all nodded at me and I waved my hand in a gesture of hello.

"These are the Clearwaters, Seth and Leah," he continued as though the awkward moment hadn't happened.

He led me through the crowd, which was a lot bigger than I had first realized, introducing me to everyone. Some people he mentioned were from the Makah tribe, a small tribe at the northern point of Washington. He mentioned they were staying the weekend and this made more sense than traveling down just for the party.

We mingled around the entire bonfire circle until we arrived back at Jake, who immediately reclaimed me by his side as he carried on his conversation with Quil.

"Just go tell her you like her man." Jake was saying. Quil gave a stern look and blushed slightly as he looked away.

Jake chuckled and filled me in that Quil is shy around the girl he likes. I understood this feeling well and thought it best to leave Quil alone about it. Jake and I began talking about nothing and everything. The hours whiled away, the fire never dying as people kept throwing branches and logs on it.

I saw the Leah and Seth leaving, I congratulated myself on remembering their names, and it was only then that I realized it must be late. I looked at my phone and groaned, eleven forty five.

"I have to go." I practically shriek, and then I calm myself, realizing how outrageous it is to freak out over curfew. A curfew I didn't even need until a day ago.

Jake looked completely downtrodden and I vowed to try and avoid seeing that look on his face ever again.

"It's just that my curfew is in fifteen minutes, and it will take me more than that to get home." I said apologetically.

Jake holds his hand out and I look at it with a raised eyebrow. He points to my cell phone and I hand it over. He opens it and clicks a number, putting the phone to his ear.

"What are you doing?" I hiss but he waves me off as though I'm a pesky fly.

"Hey Charlie!" he grins and my eyes widen in shock. "Bella's fine Charlie not to worry." He says reassuringly and nods as Charlie says something on the other end. "I was just calling because, well it's almost Bella's curfew and I was concerned about her driving home this late at night. With all the animal sightings I wouldn't want her to hit anything and get into an accident." The concern in his voice is moving and I think he actually cares about me. Or he's just using the voice to manipulate Charlie. Either way, it's working.

"Of course Charlie." He nodded seriously, but winked at me. "Great. You too Charlie. Want to talk to Bella?"

Jake handed me the phone and I gave him a stern glare as I turned my attention to Charlie. "Hi Dad." I said lamely.

"So Jake has convinced me it's not safe for you to come home tonight. You have quite the smooth talker on your side Bells." He sounds amused, not angry and I sigh with relief.

"I can come home if you want." I say uncertainly, not ready to leave but wondering where I would go when sleep finally did come.

"Nah, you can stay over at the Black's."

"Okay. Thanks Ch- Dad." I smile even though he can't see me.

"Yup. Love you Bells."

"Love you dad. Night." I hang up and look at Jake in amazement. "So I guess the party's still on?"

He smiles and the night continues.

I woke up on Sunday still extremely tired. I was sleeping on Jake's twin bed. I sat bolt upright and looked for Jake but he was nowhere to be seen. I remembered the party not ending until almost three, and falling asleep on Jake's shoulder; he carried me to his house and I remembered nothing else.

I got up and went out to the living room, Jake was sleeping on the couch. I smiled as I looked at him, he was too big for the loveseat and his feet draped over it, looking oddly comfortable in their bizarre position. His arm was draped over the couch, grazing the floor, and his face would definitely have imprint lines on it from the material of the sofa.

I tousled his hair affectionately and crept out the door. I was almost to my truck when I heard my name being called. I looked back to see Jake half asleep standing on the porch.

"Just gonna sneak out without a goodbye?" he said all of this through a massive yawn and I smiled back at him.

"I figured I'd let you sleep." I said, walking back toward him.

"I'm a light sleeper." He admitted. "Well, thanks for coming to the party with me. I hope you had fun."

"I did!" I answered enthusiastically; and I wasn't really surprised to realize how true the words were. "It was fun."

He gave me one of his megawatt smiles and hugged me quickly, yawning again.

"Go sleep some more." I said, giving him a playful shove toward the door. "I'll see you soon."

"Bye Bella." He said.

I got in my truck and headed home, noticing that Jake waited until my truck was out of sight before going back inside. I liked that about Jacob; the way he watched out for me and kept me safe but in a way that wasn't invasive or a threat to my pride.

Charlie was awake, washing his car, which I thought was odd considering it was probably only about fifty degrees out, but I guess you just kind of get used to the cold.

"Hey Bells." He said as he aimed the spray at his tires, which I hated to tell him were just going to have to travel over the mud in our driveway when he left for work in the morning anyway.

"Hey dad. Isn't there a game today?" my brain, which was not versed in sports, seemed to recall a term, "March Madness".

"At three." He nodded. "How was the party?"

"It was fun!" I enthused, telling him about who I met.

He smiled at me, and I felt as though he couldn't have been happier if I was proclaimed valedictorian. "I'm happy you're making some new friends Bella. It's good for you to get out again. To…" he seemed to be avoiding the real point of his praise, but he plowed through courageously. "To get over what happened in September."

I nodded slightly and the pain in my chest that was all but erased decided to reopen at the thought of the Cullen's. I have to think about something else. I have to distract myself from this pain.

"I have a date next weekend." I blurt out, without thinking of _who _I'm talking to.

As suspected Charlie nearly drops the hose as he looks like he's been caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck.

"Well… what are you and Jake doing?" he says. I look at him confused for a long moment before I realize he thinks my date is with Jacob.

"Oh! No, I have a date with Mike Newton." I hastily explain. "Jake and I are just friends."

Charlie seems to take this news no better than thinking I'm dating Jacob. I guess he just doesn't want me to date. Period.

"Newton huh?" he says, his tone judging slightly even though I know for a fact he likes Mike Newton, he told me when I first moved here that his family were good people.

"You like Mike dad." I pointed out.

"Oh, well yea." He mumbles, covering up. "Date huh?"

"Yea. Movies, dinner, maybe even a walk in the park." I roll my eyes but for some reason I am actually _having fun _torturing my dad. I don't know why but watching him look like he's going to load up his shot gun makes me smile. I guess it makes me feel, loved.

"Next weekend?" he clarifies.

"Yup. Friday."

"Okay." He says, resigned to the fact that I am developing a social life. I wonder if he didn't prefer me to be a shut in.

I smile and kiss his cheek, a gesture that is unfamiliar to me since I get my emotions from Charlie, and he is not an emotional man. "Thanks dad."

He mumbles something that must have been equivalent to 'you're welcome' or 'anytime' but he is as embarrassed as me at the display of love so we pretend it didn't happen as I walk in the house to take a shower and finish my homework now that I'm severely behind.

I spend the whole day holed up in my room writing papers and answering study questions. Finally as the night approaches I realize how starving I am and head down to the kitchen. Charlie is in there; cooking?

"Dad? What are you doing?" I ask.

He looks sheepishly at the food on the stove. "I thought you might be hungry. You've been studying all day." I smile at the thoughtfulness and at the food, which smells really good.

"Tomato soup and grilled cheese?" I feel like a kid as Charlie finishes preparing the sandwiches and serves us both at the table.

"Thanks Dad." I say, digging into the home-cooked goodness.

"You cook almost every day Bells, it's the least I can do." I expect him to go into the speech about how he lived for seventeen years without my babying him, but he didn't.

We ate in silence, both of us preferring it. I was just setting up to do the dishes when Charlie swatted me away.

"Go study Bella. I got this." He smirked slightly and I gave a small chuckle.

"Okay, okay." I went back up to my room and finished up the last of my homework. It was only eight o'clock but I was dead tired. I got ready for bed and went back downstairs. Charlie was reading through the Sunday paper.

"I'm going to head to bed dad. Good night."

He glanced up briefly from the paper. "Good night hunny. See you in the morning."

I went back upstairs and checked my email one more time in case mom had written, she hadn't. I turned it off and crawled into my bed, happy to get some sleep.

The week went by quickly and before I knew it I was on the tail end of Friday, sitting in English wondering where Mike was going to take me for our date. I thought about calling Jake instead but knew that would be horribly mean; and I felt like I should give Jacob a break from my company anyway; even if I didn't necessarily want one.

The bell rang and the weekend loomed before the students of Forks, Washington. I was caught by Mike outside the classroom; he seemed nervous. I thought hopefully that maybe he had to cancel.

"So, want me to pick you up at six?" he asked. "I was thinking we could go to Port Angeles and take in a movie?"

"Sure. Sounds great."

He smiled and walked me to my car we said our goodbyes for now and I drove home, feeling awkward. I was actually going on a date with Mike. Last weekend the idea had sounded like a write off; as though I would just go and show him I'm not 'the one' and he'd move on. But now that the night was actually here I felt weird; like I was leading him on. Maybe I was. Maybe I was trying to fill the void in my chest with boys, boys who weren't… _him _but would maybe numb the pain for a while.

Dad wasn't home from work yet so I went upstairs to do some homework. I looked at my phone a few times, debating calling my mom. She would want to hear all about the boy drama in my life, but I just couldn't bring myself to whine to her when she was finally so happy.

At five thirty I decided to change, although I couldn't figure out _why_ I was bothering, I guess because I hadn't been on a date in ages and part of me wanted to just be _normal. _No vampires, no giant hole in my chest, just Bella on a date.

I put on a pair of jeans I don't usually wear because of the snug fit and a scoop neck shirt that no one will see underneath my long sleeve shirt and my hooded sweatshirt. I grab my purse and head downstairs, Charlie's still not home. I write him a note on the sticky pad from the fridge reminding him of my date with Mike.

Mike showed up at ten to six and I darted out of the house before he reached my door. I smile and he smiles back. I'm glad to see he's still wearing the clothes he wore to school, that makes me feel better about this whole situation.

"Hey Mike."

"Hey. So I'm starving. You hungry?"

"Starving." I agree with a smile as I hop into the passenger's side of his Jeep (he held the door open; for that I have to give him recognition).

We drive to Port Angeles which takes about an hour, and now my stomach is full out growling. I think Mike's is too because his stomach is making noises even more aggressive than mine.

We sit at the restaurant and I try not to remember it as the one _he _and I ate at once upon a different lifetime.

I order a chicken salad, not because I'm trying to be one of those girls who only eat salad and drink water in front of boys, but because that genuinely looks the tastiest.

Mike orders some pasta dish and I nibble on breadsticks, waiting for food. Mike and I talk about English, which is the only class we have together this year. The conversation lulls and I'm relieved when food arrives. I dig in like a prison inmate getting his last meal. Mike barely touches his.

Mike offers to pay the check, but I insist on paying for my nine dollar salad (outrageous!). He only accepts because I threaten to pay the whole thing otherwise. We then head to the movies where he makes me promise to let him pay for my ticket. We buy a ticket to a really dumb looking action movie, even though Mike advocated for the romantic comedy; I didn't know if I could handle it yet. The hole in my chest was more subdued, but like a sleeping dragon I saw no reason to provoke it.

The movie wasn't until nine thirty so we walked around for a while, killing time. We went into the theatre; I bought popcorn even though we just ate. Mike declined when I offered him some.

"Are you okay?" I ask. Usually he's a lot more energetic. He just seems completely rundown, ever since he picked me up.

"I'm fine." He says with a look of unease on his face.

He made it through half the movie before he vaulted out the theatre door. I sigh and grab his coat, following him to the rest room. I don't dare actually go in, but I stand outside and wait for him. When he comes out he looks ten times worse than he did before.

I hold him his coat and he takes it reluctantly. He hands me the keys to the Jeep.

"I'm sorry Bella. I knew I wasn't feeling great after school but I didn't want to cancel." He admitted.

"It's okay Mike. We can try again sometime." I say to cheer him up, and then regret it. That means enduring another awkward night alone with him. Maybe next time I could get a group together instead.

"Okay." He brightens slightly at this but still looks like he'll throw up any second.

We roll down the windows for him, even though it's freezing out he says the breeze feels good. I drive as fast as I can (within the speed limits) to get him home before his stomach explodes again.

We pull into his driveway and he wretches on the path. I cringe as I think about his parents finding that in the morning.

I walk him up to the door and handed him his keys. "Take them." He says, "You need to get home somehow."

I look at the time, it's almost eleven. "Okay. I'll bring the Jeep by tomorrow." I promise.

"Keep it. I'm going to die from this." He says dramatically. I never took him for an exaggerator. Who knew?

I smile slightly and pat his shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow." I say as though I'm reassuring him.

He nods and heads into the house as I head back to his Jeep. Well, the night wasn't a total disaster. At least I found out I can go on a date and not be consumed by grief. Could this be healing?

Jacob didn't call me on Saturday; which wasn't altogether unusual, but it still made me feel slightly depressed. So instead of pining for him to call me I busied myself with laundry and homework. I also had to talk to Charlie about why Mike Newton's Jeep was in our driveway.

"How was your, er, date?" he asks as I come downstairs.

"It was okay. Mike got sick." I explained. "I actually have to go over to his house and drop his Jeep off, he didn't feel well enough to drive. Would you mind following me so I can get a ride back?"

"Sure." he doesn't press me more about the date and I'm thankful for that.

Jessica called around three grilling me for details on our date. I told her I wasn't sure if it was going to work out with him but that I'd offered to go out with him sometime when he was feeling better. She didn't seem pleased by this but quickly launched on to other topics (like spring break coming up). I 'mmm hmmed' and 'yupped' until she talked herself dry of conversation and hung up.

On Sunday it was gorgeous out, a rare sixty five degrees. I wanted to go out and do something, hiking or the like (despite my lack of grace). I decided to break down and call Jake so I wouldn't have to go alone.

Billy answered the phone on the third ring with a gruff hello.

"Hey Billy, is Jake around?"

"Yea, I think he's sleeping." He says in that same gruff tone I'm not used to.

"Oh." I realize it's almost noon, and Jacob still sleeping seems unlikely. "Well, can you tell him I called?"

"Yup. Bye Bella." He hung up before I could respond.

I went downstairs and saw Charlie sitting on the sofa. I sat down next to him, still feeling restless; wanting to get out and move. Like sitting here in my own skin was causing me to have some sort of panic attack.

I didn't want to go hiking alone; in case I got lost or eaten by those huge bears everyone was still geared up about. I looked at Charlie, sitting calmly, watching television. I continued staring at him unabashedly. Coming to Forks had meant giving my mom and Phil time alone to enjoy their new marriage; but hadn't it also meant spending time with my semi-estranged father?

"Spit it out Bells." Charlie said without looking at me.

I stuttered slightly before blurting out my actual thoughts. "Want to go hiking with me?"

He looked at me then, a mix of surprise and happiness on his face. "Hiking? You hate stuff like that."

"I know." It's hard to explain what I feel like. How the all consuming hole in my chest cavity likes to explain when I lay dormant too long. How my date with Mike had made me feel normal. How I missed Jacob when he wasn't with me, but not in the kind of way I missed… _him. _More mild, more secure.

"I just, feel like hiking." I say after a long pause. "I know there are supposed to be bears or something out there though, so I thought maybe you'd want to go with me." he still looks dumbfounded so I shrug. "Never mind."

"No no, no!" he smiles and turns off the television. "Let's go hiking."

I smile, slightly taken aback that he's agreed. He stands up and I jump up with him. "I know a great trail not too far from here." He promises.

I make some sandwiches and throw a few bottles of water in my backpack. Charlie gets into the driver's side of his cruiser and I cringe inwardly as I slip in the passenger's side. Riding in a police officer's car is never exciting.

"It's not that bad Bells." Charlie says to me, as though he's read my thoughts."

"Maybe for you, Chief Swan."

I see his cheeks darken slightly in a blush and I buckle my seat belt. We drive for almost half an hour and arrive at what looks like a wildlife preserve. The sight is already making me happy, and I know this was definitely a good idea.

"There's a lot of wildlife out here," Charlie says, "some wildflowers that might be sprouting up too."

"That sounds awesome." I say this with enthusiasm so he knows I'm genuinely happy.

"Plus, it's far away from the bear sightings." He smirks at me and I smile back.

"Well, let's get started." He drops five dollars in the wildlife donation box and I smile; my dad, the secret hippie.

I'm sitting in a clearing on a mountain, with my dad, eating sandwiches. It's probably the most social bonding time we've ever had; and I like it. I think I like it a lot more than I let on.

"It's so beautiful here." I say this with more than a hint of surprise in my voice.

"Why do you think I never left?" he responds.

I look down at the grass. It was one thing I pondered in my youth. Why didn't Charlie come to Arizona to be closer to me or to try and win my mom back? But then as I grew up, and spent summers with him I realized he just loved Forks. He loved being police chief; loved the people and the sights. I accepted that after a while and realized he probably just wanted me and my mom to be happy. We both detested rain and gloom, so staying away from it seemed the logical choice.

"Thanks for coming out with me today."

"I'm glad we could do this Bella. It's nice to spend time with you."

I know that we are both stiff when it comes to our emotions; so we let the conversation end there and talk about other things.

"So why didn't Jake come out today? I thought you two were tight."

"Dad." I roll my eyes, "tight? We're friends. He was still sleeping when I called." I admit.

Charlie nods his head as though that's reasonable. Apparently most teenagers sleep on the weekends, who knew.

"I'm glad you're moving on Bells." He says seriously. I draw in a shaky breath and smile weakly.

"I am." I say, and my voice is strained as the demon in my chest awakens and tries to overcome me. So a person can't heal immediately. But over time maybe I could be okay. Maybe I could tolerate _his _absence.

But with _his _absence comes the absence of my friends; the other Cullen's. I miss Alice, and the way she makes a room light up just by bouncing into it. Jasper, and his way of making everyone feel relaxed, although that could be more to his mood control power than him but I think you can't really have one without the other. I miss Emmett, his boyish grin and his desire to challenge everyone, to bet and take risks. I even miss Rosalie, even though we never really became friends; she hates me for being human.

"You okay Bells?" Charlie asks, and I feel like there's a lot more to his question.

I nod and find my voice, even though it's slightly choked up. "Yea. I'm fine." And I'm beginning to think I will be.

I collapsed on the sofa when we got home. Hiking really wears me out; especially since I'm not usually very active. Charlie seems to take my sentiments and collapses into his recliner.

"What do you say to dinner? Order a pizza?"

"Sounds perfect." I smile and he dials up the number, ordering the meat lovers even though I've told him it's horrible for his health.

I see my phone on the coffee table, I had left it home by accident, and notice it's blinking.

I look and notice I have two missed calls and three texts. All three texts are mom and so is one call. One call however is Jake. I smile and listen to my voice mails first.

"'Hey Bella hunny, where are you? Call me when you get this.' End of message. To erase message" I press seven before the automated voice can continue. Then I hear Jake's chipper voice filling my speaker.

"'Hey Bella. Sorry I was asleep when you called. What's up? Uh, well, call me back I guess. Bye." I deleted the message and read the texts from my mom; all asking where I was.

"Mom?" Charlie asked.

"Yea." I smile. "Worrier"

"That she is." he agrees, turning on the television.

I go to the kitchen and call mom back. She raves about Phil and the sun and I tell her about Mike and hiking. She is shocked that I went hiking, and more so that I went hiking with Charlie.

When we hang up I call Jacob back. He answers on the second ring.

"Hello." He sounds worn down, like he's tired.

"Hey Jake." I say.

"Oh hey Bella." He sounds a little happier, but still exhausted.

"How are you? You sound exhausted."

"I think I've got the flu or something. I feel horrible." He admits.

"Oh no. Mike from school is sick too. I hope I don't get it, it sounds awful."

"Yea, I think I have a fever, and I'm just tired." I can almost see him shrugging it off.

"Well, rest up. I hope you feel better."

"Thanks. What have you been up to today?" I can tell he's trying to stay awake to talk to me, and I feel a little bad but also happy that he'd rather talk to me than go back to sleep.

"I went hiking with Charlie."

"That sounds fun. I know a few good trails too, if you wanted to go with me sometime."

"That was why I called you this morning actually. So we'll have to make plans." I smile.

"Works for me." I hear the doorbell and I walk to get the pizza from the delivery man. "I should go and let you get back to sleep. Feel better Jake."

"Thanks Bella. I'll call you when I'm not contagious."

"Kay." We hang up and I pay the fifteen dollars for the pizza and take it to Charlie in the living room; where I stay until bed.

A week passed and I didn't hear from Jacob. I didn't call him again because he said he'd call me. But he didn't. I was wondering how sick he must be and I was starting to get worried. On Saturday I decided to call him. Billy said he was still too sick to call or be visited. I decided to go out that night when Jessica called saying she didn't want to be the awkward third wheel on Ben and Angela's date. I attempt to convince her to ask Mike but she explains how they already tried dating and it didn't really work out, even though she wanted it to; badly. Finally I concede, I'm tired of being alone.

"Dad, is it okay if I go out with Jessica Stanley, Ben Cheney, and Angela Weber?"

I see him reciting the names in his head, no criminal records, good kids, he nods in the affirmative and vocalizes, "Sure thing Bells. Home by twelve."

"Okay." I smile and shrug into my coat and grab my keys.

We meet at Jessica's house and she tells us that we're going to a club in Port Angeles; immediately I want to go home. Clubs equals dancing. Dancing and me are not friends; but I've already made the commitment to going out. We decide to take Jess's car since Angela doesn't drive and my truck would never be worth it (or fit everyone). As we head to the driveway two people I do not want to see show up, Lauren and Tyler. Tyler I don't mind so much, he's usually nice to me, and he did (sort of) ask me to Prom last year. But Lauren hates me; and I think she always will. But then I see a third person exit Tyler's Corolla (he had to get a new car after almost killing me a year ago); this person is none other than Mike Newton.

"You'll have company now," I mutter to Jessica. "So I think I'll just go home."

"Oh please Bella. They're a couple too. And I already told you I can't go on a superficial date with Mike. Please, don't leave me." she looks at me with desperate eyes and I sigh, resigned to going.

"What are you guys doing here?" Angela asks. She isn't rude like I would have been, and she's not as gossipy as Jessica; the way she asks makes it sound as though it's a pleasant surprise, something I couldn't have mustered.

"Well Jessica told us you were going to Club Aptitude." Lauren explains. "Mind if we tag along?"

"Obviously not!" Jessica says with much more enthusiasm than I thought she would give. "We'll have to take two cars, so do you three want to follow us?"

"Sure." Tyler says, getting back in his car and Lauren follows his lead, but Mike smiles at me.

"Hey Bella. I'm kind of surprised you're coming."

"Me too." I admit with a small smile.

Mike returns the smile and gets into Tyler's car. I cannot believe I am going to a club. What was happening to my life?

Apparently Club Aptitude is not in Port Angeles but another twenty minutes east, in Sequim. I mention this as we pass the Port Angeles exit.

"Well, I just said that so our parents wouldn't question us too much." Jessica explained. "It's only like twenty minutes. Big deal."

I shrug, and agree with her, even though I won't tell her that. I've never been to Sequim, and I never saw a reason too, but apparently this club has a 'teenage night' every Thursday and once a month on Saturdays. It's a five dollar charge at the door, and you get stamped so the bartender knows you're underage but to kids who want to go to a club it's the price you pay I guess.

When we arrive I immediately look for a vacant seat, preferably in a corner, since I've never been one for clubs… or groups. Before I can make a disappearance Jessica grabs my hand excitedly, as though realizing my mission.

"Dance!" she encourages and the seven of us head to the dance floor; I barely loosen up during the first song. Or the second song. However, but the third song I am trapped in the middle of six bodies, and those six bodies are trapped by everyone else in the club; so I sigh and go with it. I dance. Yea. Bella Swan dances. It's more moving my feet and legs in a swaying motion but it suffices for the situation.

We eventually break for air and drinks. The bottles of water are three dollars, but I'm so thirsty I ignore the indignity and buy one anyway. Jessica and I talk about the music, she thinks the DJ is hot and I dare her to go talk to him; so she does. I admire Jessica's boldness and hope that by hanging out with her maybe a touch of it would rub off on me.

"So can this be considered our second date?" Mike is next to me and I can barely hear him over the thumping bass of a generic pop song.

"Sure." I say not wanting to get into the fact that we are _not _dating.

"Cool." He takes my hand in his and leads me back to the dance floor.

I let him dance with me. I let Mike put his hands places that people don't usually touch me. He's warm. Not as warm as Jake, but so much warmer than _him. _He feels nice somehow. Not in a romantic way, but just normal.

I look up to the DJ booth to see Jessica still talking to the DJ; thankful that she hasn't spotted me dancing with Mike (I fear the betrayal in her eyes would be enough to kill me). Mike doesn't seem to notice; or care.

I eventually lead him back to dancing in the group because I don't like him romantically and it's not nice to lead people on, no matter how much you feel you need them.

After hours we decide to leave since most of us have a curfew of some kind. Lauren haughtily mentions that her parents are on vacation and she can be out as late as she wants. I use my best sickly sweet voice to tell her she's more than welcome to stay behind. Jessica looks aghast that I would say this but Angela gives me a small smile.

We finally make it back to Jessica's by one. I am so grounded. I drive home as fast as I can, for once ignoring speed laws, and pull into the driveway, praying Charlie's asleep.

I walk in the door and the lights are out. Good sign. I take off my shoes and hang up my coat, sneaking upstairs, avoiding the squeaky one.

"Busted." Charlie says, he's standing at the top of the stairs in his pajamas.

"Grounded?" I ask, defeated.

"Did you have fun?" he ignores me.

"Actually; yes."

He sighs and smiles at me, I'm relieved. "Go on, get to bed."

I hug him, and it's comfortable even though we don't usually hug. "Night dad!" I exclaim before he changes his mind.

Another week went by with no word from Jacob; only this week I didn't sit by idly. Instead I practically stalked him. I called every day; sometimes twice. I had Charlie check around for me. On Sunday I even called Embry; who's number I had gotten at the party.

"Hello?" Embry's voice was confused; apparently his caller ID didn't have Chief Swan's number in it.

"Hey Embry, it's me Bella."

"Hey Bella." He suddenly seems different, more alert.

"Um, have you heard from Jake?" I ask, feeling lame.

"Yea…" he doesn't elaborate.

"Oh." Now I feel hurt. Why wouldn't he call me? "Well, is he okay?"

"Yea of course he is." I hear something on Embry's line that sounds like someone hitting someone else. "Uh I gotta go Bella. See ya."

I look at the phone as the line goes dead. So Jake is fine. And he won't talk to me. I feel anger rising up inside me; and hurt. The cavity in my chest has been exploding recently. I've filled the time with Jessica, Mike, Angela and Ben, Eric and Charlie, but nothing takes the pain away like Jake. My personal sun; and he was avoiding me.

I storm angrily to the hall and put my boots on. I grab my coat and slam my hand into the table reaching for my keys.

"You okay Bells?" Charlie asks, seeing my distress.

"Jacob is avoiding me!" I shout, and then control my temper. "I'm going to go find out why!"

I don't give Charlie a chance to respond as I run to my truck. It's raining; what's new, but I feel like the rain reflects my anger so for once I don't hate it.

The drive to La Push feels like nothing and when I storm out of the truck I see Jake on his porch looking startled to see me. I storm up to him, but my anger is deflating. He's not wearing a shirt, only shorts and his sneakers. And he cut his hair.

"Jacob Black." I say in my best angry voice. "Why are you avoiding me?"

"Please go away." He almost whispers.

"No!" I shout. "Why did you cut your hair?"

"It's not so bad." He says lamely, rubbing his hand through the short crop of hair.

"Why are you avoiding me?" I ask, not hiding the hurt that seeps from my voice.

"It's complicated." He says, and he sounds like he means it.

"Jake. You're my best friend." I feel like I'm going to cry and I don't want to. I hold back the tears as I think about what I could possibly have done to upset him.

"Bella," he rushes to me and surprises me with a bone crushing hug. "You're my best friend too."

"Then why are you avoiding me?" I ask again, calmer now.

"It's complicated." He stalls.

"I'm good at complicated." Believe me.

"I can't tell you."

I pull away from him and look at him as angrily as I can muster. "Jake. Really?"

"Honestly. I literally cannot tell you. Please. I'm doing this… I have to do this. Just…" he sighs in frustration. "I can't tell you." he repeats.

"Fine." I march angrily back to my truck; if he didn't want to be my friend who needed him? I had Jess, and Mike, and Eric, and Angela. I'd be fine without another wishy-washy man in my life.

"Bella!" he calls out to me; I turn reluctantly. "You already know." He says over the roar of the rain. "Please think about the beach. The c-" he chokes on his words. "The stories. Please. Remember."

I get in my truck and drive away angrily. That little hint did nothing to help and I'm more annoyed now than upset as I drive back to Charlie's. _The stories. _I roll my eyes. I've had enough of boys.

That night, as I'm sitting in my room glaring at space, thinking of Jake something clicks in my brain. _Stories. Legends. Quileute legends! _I rack my brain for the stories he told me that day on La Push. About the Cold Ones_. What else did he say? His tribe was descended from wolves!_ I nearly jump out of my skin as I remember the story; but then I frown. Surely he didn't mean he was becoming a wolf. That was impossible. _Says the girl who's in love with a vampire._ My brain argued. I looked at the floor, grounding myself, trying not to accept the impossible. But could it be?

I decide to go to sleep and mull it over. It just couldn't be true. There must be something else in the story I missed. I wouldn't jump to conclusions.

I jumped to conclusions. I was down at La Push, waiting for Jacob to come home; or leave home. Billy said he wasn't in the house but I didn't believe him, so I stalked him. When he didn't come home or leave I went down to the beach. It was cold out, but not unbearable. I walked around until I found the tree Jake and I had sat on the first day we talked all those months ago. It was our tree in a way. He had told me the stories of the tribes and he had confided in me a history he didn't believe in himself.

Jacob couldn't be a wolf; but there was no other explanation. If I could believe the Cullen's were vampires, why was I having so much trouble wrapping my head around the idea that there could be werewolves? The Cullen's were cold ones. Jacob was the wolf; their mortal enemy. I shook my head at the absurdity. _Why couldn't he just tell me?_

"Hey." I startled at the sound of Jake's voice but I compensated by standing up; as though I always had a miniature heart attack upon standing.

"You're a werewolf." I blurt out.

To my surprise he sighs with relief. I look at him, begging him with my eyes to deny the absurdity.

"You're a werewolf?" I question, testing out the word.

"You remembered the stories." I nod in response. "I know this is a shock."

"I… how? When?" I had so many questions but no cohesive words came to mind.

"The change happens anytime it's ready. With so many vampires in town it was bound to happen."

"What!" He knew about the Cullen's?

"Don't play with me Bella. The Cullen's. Vampires are our mortal enemies." He explained. "When vampires are around the change calls on us to protect the humans. With the Cullen's being close changes started happening. First Sam, then Jared, Paul, Embry and Me; Quil will probably turn eventually, maybe even more people will turn eventually."

"Are you the things attacking hikers?" I ask, trying not to sound critical, but if I'm being honest I am judging.

"No Bella." He rolls his eyes as though that's preposterous. "We only hunt Vampires. We only kill Vampires. Even though the Cullen's have left, with the red head sniffing around, and her male companion more and more of us keep shifting."

"Red head?" I nearly shout.

He gives me a questioning look. "You know her?"

"Victoria!" I try not to think about the fact that I'm betraying the Cullen's by admitting all of this; but the stunned part of my brain is more powerful.

He gives me a look that means for me to continue, but I don't.

"Bella, if you have some information that could help us…"

If I told Jake everything; it would help end Victoria and Laurent (if that's who the male was, and I was sure it was). But it could also mean betraying the Cullen's their secrets, and I promised not to do that. _But Edward's not coming back. _ I forced myself to think the name and my heart shriveled at it. My eyes pricked with tears. Edward didn't want me anymore.

"Victoria and Laurent." I say with a strength I'm not used to possessing. "She wants me dead because Edward killed her mate James last year. Laurent just works for her I bet. She wants me dead Jacob."

He tensed at this and wrapped his arms around me, and I felt safe and warm once again. "I won't let that happen. We won't let that happen."

"We?"

"The pack."

"Right." I chuckle slightly. "Jake, does this mean we can be friends still?"

He chuckles slightly too and I feel him squeeze me harder. "I think so. I'll have to talk to Sam about it; but I bet we can be."

"I hope so. I miss you." I admit.

"I miss you too."

Jacob and I talk for awhile about the change; about what it means for him to be a pack member. Sam he tells me is the alpha; that means he's in command. Sam had ordered a command that the pack had to follow; no telling anyone what they were. Jacob got around that little gag order because I already knew what they were; so that opened free range conversation. I was glad Jacob wasn't avoiding me because he was sick of me. I needed him.

"So what else does being a wolf entail?" I ask.

"Well, the shifting doesn't hurt. It did at first. I was so sick, I literally thought I was dying. But now it's just so effortless. We've had to relearn the histories, now that we know they're true; because the elders, like my dad, want us to understand them with a genuine knowledge."

"You're dad is in on it?" I interrupt, unable to contain myself.

"Yea Bells, the whole tribe is. Only the kids are left to think its rubbish, until it happens." He gives me a thoughtful expression and I wonder what he's thinking; before I can ask him he continues. "So we have these orders from the alpha, and they have to be obeyed. You literally cannot break the order. There's this feeling you get inside of you that pushes against everything else. It's hard to explain." He rubs his hand through his hair, or rather against his now cropped skull.

"Does having short hair make it easier?" I ask pointing to his lack of hair.

"Yea. Well, it makes me look less mangy." He laughs and I smile in response.

"What else?" I urge him to continue. I want to know as much about the wolves as I did about the vampires.

"We imprint." He says with a sad tone, and since I have no idea what imprinting is I don't understand the sadness behind the statement.

"What is that?" I ask.

"It's when you find the person. The One. Only stronger. It's this connectivity you can't fight."

"Like the gag order?" I ask, trying to figure it out.

"Kind of." He sighs as though he hates not being able to explain things properly to me. I wish I wasn't an outsider so I could understand.

"Emily is Sam's imprint. One look and they knew they would be together for life. It's like soul mates."

"That sounds powerful. Does the imprintee have a say in this?" I ask, feeling bad for the person who doesn't know what they're feeling. What if Jake imprinted on a girl and she hated him? Then she'd be stuck with him forever because of a freaky wolf thing. But I look at Jacob, so sweet and warm. He's quite a catch and I decide a girl would be _lucky _to imprint with him; not cursed.

"Not really." He says answering my question. "But there usually isn't any problem except…" he trails off like he's said too much.

"Except?" I pry.

"I can't talk about it." He says, and I presume it's a wolf thing.

"Well, it sounds pretty cool to be a wolf." I admit. "Shifting, and imprinting, most of all though you get to protect people from bad vampires." I say bad vampires specifically so he'll know I still love the Cullen's; even if they don't love me.

"And the mind reading. But that can get annoying too." He mentions offhandedly.

"Whoa. You can read minds!" what is it with me knowing super-humans? It makes me self conscious.

"Just each others." He admits like it's no big deal. "And only in wolf form. It's dead useful when we're tracking something; but horribly annoying when you want some privacy and you can't even have it in your own head."

"I guess I can see that being annoying." I'm still baffled at how I could be a mere human without any super powers at all.

"Yea." He looks at the sun in the sky and sighs. "I have to report back to Sam. He'll have my head for telling you so much; but you broke through the gag order so I had no reason not to."

"Sorry if I got you in trouble." I stand up, my butt numb from sitting on the tree for so long.

"It'll be fine." He waves his hand as though it's no big deal.

"Jake, what are you going to do about Victoria?" I ask, the fear in me rising.

"We're going to kill her." He says nonchalantly as though he just mentioned a bird was flying in the sky.

"I think I should help." I say with a voice stronger than I feel.

"No." he says firmly.

"I can be a decoy. A trap to lure her close. I can help." I plead to him.

"Not happening Bells. I really should go. I'll talk to you soon okay?" he hugs me tight and I snake my arms around his bare chest. He is warm and despite his hard muscles he feels soft and safe.

"Be careful." I say, which is something I tell my dad every day as he leaves for work but I feel like Jake is in a little bit more danger than the Chief of Police in Forks, Washington.

I'm sitting in my room, trying hard not to call Jacob. He said he'd talk to me soon and that meant he'd contact me right? I didn't have to be a creeper any more, we were friends. I finished my homework ages ago and have nothing else to do. I go downstairs and sit by Charlie. We make small talk and I enjoy the presence of a fellow non-mythical (as I've cleverly dubbed the men in my life. Even if Edward isn't in my life anymore…).

The phone rings and I nearly jump out of my skin to answer it. It's Angela.

"Bella?" she sounds stressed.

"What's wrong?" I ask, worried that Victoria hurt her, or someone else.

"Are you free on Saturday?" confused I answer honestly.

"I think so. Why?"

"Do you think we could use your house?" the pleading in her voice is obvious and I feel bad I'm not following.

"What? What are you talking about Angela?"

"Ben's surprise party. It was supposed to be at my house but now my parents are saying that they're having a party here for a client or something. And Jessica's parents are away, which would be perfect but she said if she has a party and gets caught they won't let her walk in graduation and I've met her father; I believe her. Mike's parents are renovating, and Eric won't answer the phone. Please Bella, I'm begging you."

"Hold on a sec." I walk into the living room and sit down facing Charlie. "Dad, can I throw a surprise party here on Saturday for a friend at school?"

"Party?" he asks, clearly not hearing it's a surprise party, not a keg'er.

"Yea, for Ben Chaney. It's his birthday and Angela's throwing him a surprise party but now the venue's kind of been changed; as in she doesn't have one." I look at him with a mixture of pleading and innocence.

He gives me a wry smile and says; "Sure Bells."

"Thanks Dad!" I hug him and regale Angela with the good news. We hang up so she can call everyone and tell them the new plan.

"It's always nice to help out a friend. And with the chief of police chaperoning at least the parents know you kids will be safe." That explains the smile. I hadn't thought of that. I wonder if Angela had…

I invite Jacob and the pack to the party, I figure safety in numbers, but I also just miss him. I'm confident Victoria wouldn't try anything in public but at the same time a group gathering is always a distraction for a vampire. I spend most of Saturday morning praying no one cuts themselves. Parties and me have never gotten along well, and especially not since September; but with Jake there I should be okay.

Jacob arrives about ten minutes before the party is scheduled, he comes with Embry, and who I recognize from Embry's party as Jared.

"So you've been told our big bad secret." Jared smiles at me and I smile back.

"Don't worry. You can huff and puff all day long and I still won't be afraid." Jared laughs a barking laugh and I wonder if it's a side effect of shifting into a canine counterpart.

"The party area is outside; we didn't really have room in the house for too many people so we're using it as refreshments and gifts area." I explain as I lead the Quileute boys into the backyard.

Jessica is finishing the touches on setting up; Mike is adjusting the sound on the iHome while everyone else mingles. Angela should be by with Ben any minute. I tell Jake, Embry and Jared to mingle but as I walk back to the front of the house I can see that they aren't breaking formation.

Angela's car pulls into the empty driveway (we had everyone park down the block so Ben wouldn't suspect anything). I am supposed to convince Ben I need him in the backyard; but I've never been good at this sort of thing and I feel awkward.

"Ben, Angela! Thank God you're here." I say in what I'm sure is a way too dramatic voice.

"Bella, we came as soon as we could." Angela says, playing along.

"It's in the backyard." I say, leading them around the house rather than through it. Whatever is supposed to be in the backyard I'll never know, Angela was vague on the details, she told me to improvise but I'm about as good at improvising as I am at sports; that is to say, not very.

"SURPRISE!" everyone yells and claps at once and Ben's face goes from horrid confusion to pleasant jubilance.

"You guys!" He exclaims.

"It was all Angela." Mike says.

"Mostly Angela." Jessica chimes in with a small smile.

"Thanks everyone!"

General merriment ensues as the party is underway.

I walk over to Jacob, Embry and Jared and start talking to them, trying to ease their tension. It doesn't work. Eventually we are talking freely and Angela springs out the cake. During the energetic, and highly off key, chorus of "happy birthday" however I notice Jacob stiffen. I keep singing but my eyes follow him as he whispers something low to Jared, who nods and exits the party undetected through the woods.

I make my way over to Jacob and demand to know what's going on.

"It's nothing." He assures me, but I can tell he's lying.

"Embry?" I ask but he shrugs.

I sigh haughtily and walk off, figuring if Jacob knows I'm mad at him he'll come talk to me and make it right.

I strike up conversation with Jessica and try and forget what the wolf pack is up to. Jared doesn't come back but Embry takes off. I catch Jacob's eye but he turns away quickly and scopes the edge of the forest. Finally he comes up to me and whispers an apologetic good bye and runs into the woods. I don't try and stop him; even though I'm worried, I know he knows what he's doing.

Mike starts bringing out gifts and Ben enjoys all manner of gifts. Finally the party died down and the guests dispersed.

"Thanks Bella, for hosting this party. You guys are awesome." Ben said as him and Angela pack his gifts into the car.

"Any time Ben; happy birthday." I smile and see them off, but I am now steadily on the lookout for the wolf pack to return and tell me what is going on.

Night falls and they don't return.

I call Jacob a hundred times; Billy assures me that he'll check in when he's back. I fidget and pace. Surely they would have been back by now. What is taking so long? Was it Victoria? Laurent? Was it something else entirely?

I sit in my room, trying to write an essay when in actually visions of Victoria swim through my head instead until I hear a noise outside my window that startles me into action. I peer down and see Jacob on my lawn and my breathing rate increases. I open the window and call down to him, Charlie is still in the living room but I use a stage whisper just in case he can hear me over the noise of the television.

"Back up Bella, I'm going to climb through the window." He jumps up the tree, and swings effortlessly into my room. I can't resist the urge to hug him.

"I was so worried!" I exclaim. "When you left the party I knew something terrible was happening but I couldn't corner you with all those people. So spill. What happened?"

Jacob sits down on my bed; he seems so out of place on my purple bedspread. He looks up at me, worn and tired. I sit in the desk chair opposite him and wait for him to explain.

"It was the red head. She was lurking nearby; the gathering must have caught her attention. Anyway, she must not have realized we were there because she was unsuspecting when Jared caught up with her. He chased her well down into Oregon. Embry and I caught up with Jared, but she had disappeared. There was no sign of the man. Sam and Paul stayed near Forks, guarding you and Charlie, but they've gone back into hiding." He growls slightly, as though he's frustrated. "I just wish we could figure out how to catch her."

"Use me." I volunteer.

He looks up at me skeptically before shaking his head. "You're not bait Bella. We've been through this."

"But I could be. If you put me in a clearing, one of them will come to me; when they do you can attack."

"Bella. You're crazy. I'm not using you as leverage in this war. You're too important."

I give Jacob a half smile. "I'm not as important as the lives of innocent people."

Jacob reaches for my hand, as he holds it I stare at our connection with a mixture of pain and happiness. I can feel myself accepting Jacob, loving him even. But I can feel the part of me that is so connected to Edward, like our lives were destined from the start, slipping away. It's like my heart is changing. I feel the hole in my chest throb feebly, as though it's simultaneously tired of hurting and happy it's healing.

"You're important to me." he says this as though he's afraid. Afraid I'll reject him?

"But I can help." I plead.

He sighs, "I'll talk to Sam and see if we can find a safe way to work this out."

I smile slightly. "I think I should go with you when you ask; so you can't make it seem like I don't want to."

Jacob rolls his eyes, "I suppose asking you to not come would be futile."

"Completely."

"Fine. We'll talk to Sam tomorrow." He rolls his eyes but I smile at him; glad he'll let me help.

"Thank you Jacob." I say. "For protecting… well everyone. And for listening to me; letting me help."

"Well, you're tough. I'm sure you can handle it. But I'm not putting you in danger."

I smile at him, squeezing his hand slightly.

"I should go. I'm going to patrol some more, in case she tries anything." He gets up, and I follow him, not letting go of his hand as we stand near my window. "I'll be near though, so if something happens I'll be there."

"Thanks Jake." I look up at him; two years younger than me and a million times stronger. I hug him around his waist, breathing in the woodsy smell that is all Jacob.

"Anytime."

I look up into his eyes and he looks down at me as though he is considering something. He leans forward slightly and I know he is about to kiss me. I debate pulling away as though I didn't notice, but part of me wants to know, wants to feel, what it would be like to kiss Jacob. I lean up slightly and our lips graze each other. I hesitate before pushing closer to him. His lips mold to mine in a way that is so perfect, I feel like they were made to meld together. He doesn't deepen the kiss, but pulls away slightly instead, leaving me feeling confused and wanting.

"I should go." He kisses my hand and jumps out the window, landing perfectly on the grass.

I stare into the darkness long after he must have phased and gone. I feel numb. My heart throbs; feeling the pain of Edward being gone, and the ripe new sensations of moving on and being loved again. My logic and emotions are fighting each other and I can't decide what I'm feeling. I walk across the room to get my pajamas and the floor board creeks, I look down and see that it's loose.

Bending down I yank up the loose floorboard; I gasp when I see what's inside. Pictures of me and Edward, and the CD he made for me. Without thinking I throw the CD in my CD player and listen as Edward's compositions fill the small room. Tears sting my eyes and I collapse to the floor crying. The pain of his leaving is fresh now and I dissolve into a fit of hysterics. I was thinking of moving on with Jacob, thinking of forgetting how much I loved Edward, and how much I still needed him in my life, and then I stumble upon this? All of this memorabilia that I thought Edward had removed. It had been here all along; like his presence in my heart.

I listen to the CD twice and somehow fall asleep between the thoughts and the tears.

"You okay Bells?" Charlie asks the next morning. My eyes are puffy and I feel like I'm getting over the flu, but I smile and nod.

"Yea. I just slept heavy." I lie.

He nods like he doesn't really believe me. "Doing anything today?"

I shake my head. "Some homework probably."

"I was going to head down to visit Billy. Would you want to go down too? Maybe see Jake for a bit?"

I shake my head again. "It's okay. I should really just catch up." I say noncommittally.

He tenses, as though he can sense some of the 'old' Bella coming back. He looks as though he's prepared to go to any lengths to keep me from drowning again. I'm willing to take the life vest, but I need this one day to think; to be alone with my thoughts.

"Please go Dad." I smile. "Don't worry about me. When you come home my homework and laundry will be done, and I'm making steak and potatoes for dinner."

He appraises me once more and nods curtly. "Okay. I'll tell the Black's you say hi."

"Okay. Have fun dad." I return upstairs and collect my laundry.

After a load is in the washer I finish my homework at the kitchen table, gazing out the window for unsystematic amounts of time. My brain is a never ending circle of thoughts. I love Edward. I love his mystery, his charisma, his caring, the incredible way we seemed to be connected immediately. Then my thoughts wander to Jacob, the way he smiles and I feel like my entire soul can be happy somehow. When he jokes, even if its lame it makes me laugh like I've never laughed before.

Jake protects me (as did Edward), but he does it in such a gentle way; it's like I'm precious and valuable, not a nuisance. Did Edward think I was a nuisance? Yes. My thoughts and feelings conflict; my head and my heart are not communicating well. I need to clear my head.

I throw the clothes in the dryer and take off. I drive to the cliff where Jacob once told me cliff jumpers go. I hike to the edge of the cliff and stare down; it's a lot farther than I thought. I sit on the edge, enjoying the breeze even though it looks like it might rain. I hear something behind me and I whip around terrified by what I see.

"V…v… Victoria?" tears prick my eyes as I stare at the gorgeous red head. She's found me. This is it.

"I've been waiting to get you alone Bella." She smirks, clearly enjoying her game.

I chance a glance at the freezing water; it's still really far down. "I'm sorry about James." I blurt out, buying time.

She doesn't seem pleased by my apology. "You should be. And really you should thank Edward for your fate." She continues, walking toward me, and I have nowhere else to go.

"Edward?"

She looks annoyed, like I'm wearing down her limited patients. "He killed James. I kill you. A mate for a mate."

"I'm not with him anymore!" I blurt out. It's the truth, and it hurts, but the truth might save me.

She stops, looking at me appraisingly. "I figured. The Cullen's house is abandoned and I don't smell them anywhere near you. I haven't in months. Did you bore him already?"

I shrug in what I hope is a nonchalant manner. "I guess so. Pity."

"Isn't it." She sneers, it mars her attractive face. "Well, I think I'll kill you anyway."

"Why?"I choke.

"You've been a nuisance. And besides, you know too much. You're a liability love." Her sneer turns into a smirk.

"I won't beg for my life." I proclaim in a strong voice.

"I don't care. I'll kill you anyway."

She crouches low and I can tell like a predator in the jungle she's about to pounce. I take the deepest breath I can and jump.

"Bella! Wake up! Please!" Jacob's voice rises through the fog of my brain.

I sit up hacking salt water and choking violently on air.

"Thank God, Bella. Are you okay? Don't stress yourself." He's rubbing my back, supporting me.

"Jake." I cry harshly and I'm so happy to see him. "It was her. She tried to kill me."

"I know." I can hear the smile in his voice and I look up to see that megawatt smile on his gorgeous face.

"Did you get her?" I ask, still trying to clear my vision from the salt water.

"Sure did. I took her down myself then dove in after you. Paul and Sam finished her off."

I smile, choking and laughing as tears sting my already ripe eyes once again. "I'm so proud. So happy she's gone."

He continues to comfort me. "I'm glad we got her, usually, and I hate to admit it, but she's usually faster than us. You distracted her Bella. You did it."

I smile weakly.

"What were you doing up there anyway?" he asks.

"Thinking."

"Well, it's a good thing you were there. I don't know how we would have caught her otherwise."

"I'm glad." My teeth are starting to chatter and I can't feel my outer limbs.

"Oh man, I should get you someplace warm huh. Come on."

He helps me up and drives me back to his place.

I notice Charlie's car in the yard. "I forgot my dad was visiting Billy." I say.

"It's okay. I'll take care of it." Jake promises as we head into the house.

"Hey Bella. What happened?" Charlie looks at me, soaked from head to toe and practically freezing.

"She fell in the ocean." Jake says honestly and with a slight smile.

"Fell in the ocean? I thought you were doing homework." Charlie runs to me, checking me for injuries.

"I'm fine dad." I chatter.

"Yea, she was out by the cliff and I caught up with her, we were talking and joking around and I guess she tripped on a rock or something and went off the cliff. I dived in after her and she seems to be okay; just shaken."

"Last year you fell down stairs and out a window, and now you fall off a cliff. I'm going to have to monitor you more closely." Charlie shakes his head in disbelief at my clumsiness but assesses that I am okay.

"I'm going to lend her some clothes to warm up." Jake says and Charlie nods.

"It's a good thing you were there Jacob." He pats Jacob on the shoulder and Jake nods firmly as though Charlie's approval means everything.

"You said something about warmth?"

I change into a pair of his sweats and snuggle with him on the couch. His increased temperature is like a human space heater and I take full advantage of his warmth. Charlie and Billy are playing gin in the kitchen.

"Get some rest Bella." Jake says as he rests his head on mine and closes his eyes. I smile, allowing myself to drift too.

When I awaken I feel disoriented. My body is finally regaining some warmth, I feel a blanket on top of me, and Jacob is still next to me. I open my eyes and they burn from the salt water and strain. Charlie is still here, chatting idly with Billy; it can't be that much later. I sit up, stretching out my muscles which have been tensed from the cold.

"Sure you're feeling okay Bells?" Charlie asks, I nod at him, not sure if my voice might belie my affirmation.

"I was thinking about heading back home, you want to come with me? We can get your truck tomorrow."

"Okay." My voice is harsh and croaks slightly.

"Take care Billy." Charlie says.

"You too Charlie. Bella." He nods and I nod back, knowing that he'll hear the truth of what happens when Jacob wakes up and tells him everything.

Charlie and I pull into the driveway and I see an all too familiar black Mercedes. _Carlisle. _

"Who could that be?" Charlie asks me and I run out of the car rather than answer him.

I don't see anyone in the car so I run to the house, my body still aching but I ignore the pain. I fling open the front door and look around in the dark, the light comes on and I'm face-to-face with Alice.

"Alice!" I exclaim, flinging my arms around her neck. "I've missed you so much!"

"Bella!" She barely hugs me back, as though she's in shock.

"Yea, who did you expect?"

"Alice?" Charlie enters the house looking more confused than I feel.

"Hello Charlie." Alice smiles her amazing friendly smile and Charlie seems to break his tension. I know he's still mad at the Cullen's for abandoning me.

"To what do we owe this pleasure?" he hesitates on the word pleasure as though not sure what he should be expecting.

"I… well I just came to say hi to Bella. I feel horrible that I haven't been in contact much, school and everything." She smiles and I can see the lie forming on her lips, but her voice sounds so perfectly orchestrated that I can almost believe her. I know she'd fool anyone else.

"That was nice of you." Charlie says, but I don't think he thinks it's nice at all. "I'll let you have girl talk. Good night Bella." He kisses the top of my head and heads upstairs.

"What are you doing here?" I demand the truth.

"I thought you were dead!" she exclaims, trying to keep her voice down.

"What?"

"I saw you jump off the cliff." Alice says, her voice even more hushed.

"Oh no!" I fling myself onto the couch, exasperated. "I had no choice. Victoria."

"I saw that too. And when I didn't see you resurface from the water I… well I panicked. I thought I'd come and comfort Charlie. I thought you were dead."

"Jake pulled me out. I'm fine. I can't believe you came here." My mind is still reeling.

"Bella. I miss you. I'm sorry about how things ended. About everything that happened." I can see that she means her apology and I wave it off as though I didn't spend months in a catatonic depression.

"It's fine. I mean, not really, but I understand."

"I shouldn't stay." She says with a hint of regret.

"I understand. You aren't planning to be my friend anymore." I nod as though I understand but I don't. It sounds lame but, "Why can't we be friends?"

"It's difficult. With Edward gone, he wanted us to break ties with you so you'd move on, be normal."

"Right. So not having friends is normal. Tearing away my friends from me is normal. Awesome." I try to hide the bitter edge my voice has adopted but it's hard when the ideas I'm speaking of are preposterous.

"I wanted to keep in touch Bella, but you know how Edward can be." She seems apologetic.

"You're a vampire Alice!" I hiss, hoping Charlie didn't hear the "v" word. "You can do whatever you please!" I take a breath and calm down, "You could have kept in touch if you wanted to."

She gives me an apologetic look as though she doesn't know what else to say. I don't either.

"Well, I'm not dead. So yay. I should get some sleep, I'm feeling like crap." I get up but Alice stops me, her hand gently on my wrist.

"I'm sorry Bella. You're like a sister to me. I'll keep in touch. I promise. Regardless of what Edward thinks. I am your friend."

I look into her golden eyes and smile. "Your friendship means the world to me Alice." I give her a hug and breathe in the spicy scent of her.

"You can stay the night if you want. I mean, you don't have to but, the couch is yours." I smile, knowing she doesn't need to sleep.

"How about I'll see you in the morning." She smiles.

"Okay. The morning then."

"Good night Bella."

"Good night Alice." I smile as I head up to bed. The relief of having one of my friends back makes me almost as happy as Victoria not trying to kill me anymore.

I lay in bed thinking about Edward, Jacob, the Cullen's and the wolf pack. When Edward left he took away an entire family I had, a group of friends that were so unique and different. He took away Emmett my goofy loveable friend, Rosalie my stuck up bitch friend, Alice my best friend, Jasper my compassionate but standoffish friend, and Carlisle and Esme my pseudo parents. Edward didn't just take away my boyfriend, my soul mate, my reason for living. He took away an entire group of people from my life. He was more than selfish, he was mean. But then, they have their own free will; why didn't they try harder to be my friends? Was I, in the end, not worth it?

If Jacob didn't want to be with me, didn't want to be my friend, I feel pretty sure Embry would still hang out with me, Quil would still want to hang out, Jared would say hi at least (maybe not Paul or Sam but then we barely talk now).

I sigh, my frustration and emotions becoming too much for me. I can't take these feelings. I was so sure I was to the death in love with Edward, but the more I think, the more I ponder, was it real? Was I mesmerized by his mystery, his charm, the instant connection we had? Did I not open myself to see the other qualities of our relationship; the tyranny, the isolation, the danger?

I fall asleep thinking of everything that I never allowed myself to think of before. Alice coming back has opened my brain to a whole new world of thoughts. Maybe Edward and I were never meant to be.

When I wake up the next morning I wonder if the whole thing was a dream. Did I really jump off the cliff? Is Victoria dead? Did Alice come back? I run downstairs; Alice is talking to Charlie at the kitchen table.

The pair looks up at me quickly as I walk in, clearly I'm interrupting a private conversation and from what I gathered before Charlie closed his mouth it was about my months of depression.

I smile at both of them, diffusing the tension. "Morning." I say cheerily, only my voice croaks because it hasn't been used in eight hours and it's still hoarse from my water trauma.

"Morning Bells. Hungry?" Charlie asks, making to stand up.

"I'm fine." I sit at the table with them.

"I was telling Charlie about Los Angeles. It's gorgeous. Significantly more crowded than Forks though." She smiles at Charlie like they're long lost friends; the action confuses me but I let it go. She was my best friend after all, and we spent more time together than anyone… until Jacob.

"Oh Bells, Jake called for you; he was upset we let him sleep last night. He said he called your cell but got voicemail." Charlie recites.

"My phone!" I hit my head in my hand in exasperation. "It was in my pocket yesterday when I… fell. I bet it doesn't even work anymore." I really don't want to spend money on a new phone; my upgrade isn't for another few months.

"Where is it?" Charlie asks.

I look down at myself, still in Jacob's clothes. "In my pants pocket. At Jakes." I elaborate. "I better go get it."

"We have to go get your truck anyway." Charlie remembers.

"Right." I sigh. "I'll go change."

When I return downstairs again Alice is near the door, apparently ready to leave.

"Want to come with us Alice?" Charlie asks, completely cordial as though he's forgotten that she, like Edward, abandoned me.

"I'm afraid not, I've got to be getting home."

"Back to L.A. so soon?" Charlie asks, looking from me to Alice as though I'll explode from this news.

"I'm staying at our old house for a couple nights, but I have to get back and clear out some rooms, they're all musty from lack of use. We're renting it for the summer." She continues; the lies flowing easily. I know the real reason she won't come. Cullen's aren't allowed on Quileute land.

"Ah, well, don't be a stranger."

"Thanks Charlie." She hugs him and then me. "I'll talk to you soon Bella." She looks at me as though promising me with her eyes that this time she won't give up on our friendship.

I nod and smile. "Nice seeing you Alice."

She departs and gets into Carlisle's Mercedes. "Shall we get your truck?" Charlie asks, already grabbing his coat.

"Yes." I sigh and head to the cruiser.

"Bella!" Jacob hugs me as I enter his house and I feel safe and warm, a feeling I'm getting used to in his presence.

"Hey Jake. Sorry about sneaking out yesterday, I didn't want to wake you." I explain with an apologetic smile.

"All is forgotten." He smiles genuinely. "Come to get your truck?"

"And my clothes." I had put them on his radiator the day before.

"Oh of course." We go into his room and I rummage through my pocket for my cell phone.

I pull it out and grimace; it's still damp.

"Tell me that was in your jeans." Jake's face contorts with horror.

"Oh yea. Think it'll work?"

Jake shrugs, "One way to find out."

I open it up and make sure there's no excess water, and then reinsert the battery and push the power button.

"It's alive!" I exclaim with a smile.

"Wow! Go little phone go!" Jake smiles and I laugh with him, collapsing on his bed from relief.

"I can't believe it still works. I mean, at least turns on."

"Hey, turning on is half the battle." He agrees.

My phone buzzes with missed texts and voicemails. I sigh and lean against Jake, feeling worn out. He puts his arm around me and I can feel him wanting to ask what's wrong.

"So guess who showed up at my house last night." I say, needing to talk about the ridiculousness that is my life.

"Who?" he tenses slightly.

"Alice Cullen." I say, sighing dramatically, if not because it was necessary then slightly for effect.

"Great. What did the leech want?" his voice is cold, colder than I've ever heard it.

"Calm down." I chastise, but I don't really mean it, I was pretty annoyed at her too. "She," not sure if I should tell Jake about Alice's visions I divert my words, "missed me I guess."

Jake snorts slightly as though the idea is ridiculous. "If she missed you so much why did it take her so long to contact you?"

I sigh, my fears confirmed in his words. "I was thinking the same thing."

"Who needs 'em right?" he nudges me slightly and I smile.

"I do." I barely speak the words but I think Jake hears me. "I did at least. I don't know."

"Hey," he brings my face to his, "I will always be here for you." he vows, "I will never hurt you, or leave you. You're mine, for as long as you want me."

His words strike something within me; something Edward once said that was shockingly similar. I feel my breath hitch, but the pain doesn't come. The hole in my chest, it breathes, it lives, it's present, but it doesn't pain me. It's healed? I feel weak, and strong. Have I reached acceptance?

"Bella." Jake brings his mouth closer to mine and I know he is going to kiss me. I think I'm ready. I'm ready to try and move on, to really see what else I can do with my life than sit around like a dumped loser.

Jakes lips touch mine briefly, my heart gives a small flutter and I smile into the kiss. Jake smiles back and our lips touch again. The kiss is sensual without meaning to be, it's gentle and passionate, his hand that is resting on my cheek moves slowly into my hair, tilting my head slightly he gains better access to my mouth. I allow our tongues to unite and become acquainted. I reach my arms around him, pulling him closer to me. I love this feeling, feeling him with me, our bodies connecting; it's like nothing I've ever felt before. Jacob Black is like no one I know. I can't imagine being without him.

I pull back, shocked and confused. Why do I feel like this? Why is the power of us so intense suddenly? We were friends. Just friends. And now… now I'm _in love? _My brain works to catch up, something Jake said a long time ago pops into my head; imprinting.

"Jake!" I feel alarmed, but calm. My body is accepting of the fact that Jacob is my "one and only" but my logical working brain just can't seem to be fine with it.

"Bella," he breathes my name like it's the most precious sound in the world. "I think we just imprinted."

"Why? How? I thought it was an instant thing! I thought if it was going to happen to us it would have happened ages ago!" I root around for something to ground me but I can't. It won't happen, I'm spinning in my own head; and I kind of like it.

"I don't know Bella. I'm new to the whole wolf thing too. I just know that I've always felt this way about you, only now its like," he struggles for a moment before saying, "It's like I looking at the world through eyes that were cloudy, and now it's clear. It's like the sun was behind a cloud and now its shining."

I look up at him, feeling like I'm about to cry and laugh. "That's so cheesy Jake." I hit him playfully on the arm.

He smiles down at me. "But it's true."

I sigh, looking up into his big brown eyes. He has always been My Jake. "I guess this means I love you." I smile.

He smiles back and kisses me again. "I love you Bella."

I hear the clearing of a throat and look in the doorway to see Charlie, arms crossed and a murderous glare on his face. I swallow nervously but Jake is smiling. I think about the fact that he's a wolf-shifter then look back at Charlie. Jake could take him.

"Hi dad." I smile.

"Ready to go?" he asks, his voice pointed; and here I thought he always liked Jake.

"Um, not really." I admit. "But I have my truck so I'll just come home later."

"I think we need to have a chat." Charlie says through clenched teeth.

I stand up but he holds up his hand, "Not you Bells. You." he points to Jake and then walks out the door.

"Uh oh." Jake wiggles his eyebrows and follows Charlie outside; literally, out into the front yard. I watch from the window.

They have a brief back and forth that I cannot hear any of before Charlie and Jake shake hands and Jake returns to the house while Charlie goes to his car and drives off.

Jake comes in and lifts me off the bed, twirling me in his arms. I smile and laugh as he sets me down.

"What just happened?" I ask, not letting go of him once he sets me down.

"Charlie told us he'll be watching me; if I ever hurt you he'll make sure I can never hurt anyone again. Etcetera."

I smile shaking my head; Charlie and his threats. "So in the end the verdict is?"

"Oh come on Bella, Charlie loves me." he smiles and kisses me again.

"That he does. And so do I."

I may write more sometime… I might want to tie off the Edward loose end. I don't know if this ending feels rushed; I like it but I've read before that if you like your own work it's not good enough (haha).

Anyway, comments welcome, criticisms accepted but admittedly more painful ;) thanks for reading! 3


	2. Edward: An Epilogue

Edward: Epilogue (Edward POV)

Alice had a vision of Bella's death. The panic that swelled within me was stifling. I grasped at the air, praying for an explanation, a reason. Surely if she died I would have felt it? I would know.

Terror overtook me; I ran through a frenzied list of ways I could escape the mortal plane, not wanting to live while she perished. I had come up with the only solution: the Volutri. They would kill me… especially if I could expose that vampires existed.

As I readied myself to go to Italy Alice called me, explaining how she overreacted, that Bella was fine. I breathed (despite the pointlessness of it) easy. As long as Bella was okay, I could be okay. She also informed me Victoria was dead. My search over, the efforts I'd expended futile; the wolves had taken care of it. Wolves. And Bella was associating with them.

That was almost a month ago and the longing to see Bella was growing stronger. With no one left to track, and all the excuses I made to leave her becoming meaningless, I was fighting the urge to see her; but I couldn't fight any more. I was sitting at the Seattle airport, willing myself not to go to Forks. Marching to the rental car, vowing I would turn around. Driving down the long winding road, knowing it was hopeless. I had to see her.

I was sitting across the street, staring at her house. I felt every bit the stalker I was portraying. I just had to see that she was okay. Happy. Alive. Her truck was gone and I realized she should be home from school by now. Had she obtained a part-time job? Maybe she was with friends. I stayed where I was, waiting for her. She would come home eventually.

The night wore on, Charlie came home and settled in for the night and I continued my observations. Around ten, or was it eleven?, she came home, slowing into the driveway and killing the ignition. I debated leaving the car, saying hello, I stayed in the car, watching. She was smiling, really smiling, as she walked into the house. I heard her say hello to Charlie; listened to their conversation.

"Hey Bells. I know its Friday but you're pushing it with the curfew." He didn't really sound upset at all, more like he was teasing.

"Sorry dad. Jake and I were doing homework." Bella's soft voice floated through the house to my sensitive ears, as though she were speaking right to me. Jacob Black. She was out all this time with Jacob Black?

"Huh uh.." a noise of doubt, "Well you better be getting all A's this term with all the studying you two do."

Bella laughed, a musical ringing, "Dad! I'm going to bed."

"Good night Bells." I could hear the smile in his voice; like teasing his daughter was his favorite pastime.

Bella jogged up the stairs and then I saw her again, silhouetted in her room. She was still beautiful, I longed to say hello, to hold her, kiss her, take in her dangerous scent.

I couldn't stop myself; I was out of the car. Chastising myself I was up the tree. Fighting back I was at the window. Regretting I was in the room. Her scent was everywhere; I had almost forgotten the way it made me crazy with thirst. It was painful to be submerged in her again.

Her scream was resounding, a choked gasp followed as realization hit. Her hand flew to her mouth, her eyes wide as saucers. I was frowning, struggling for an excuse, a reason, anything to say to end this miserable silence. Charlie shouted from downstairs, asking of her wellbeing, she called back, "I'm fine." Her words were gentle, but her eyes were simmering.

"Bella…" I began, but she cut me off.

"What are you doing here!" she screeched.

She was taller. No, she stood stronger, more upright, and more confident. Her voice was less fragile, like she had discovered something about herself; about the world.

"I had to see you." my voice did not sound strong. It did not sound confident.

She stared blankly at me, a look of doubt and disbelief on her face. She refused to break the numbing silence; I had nothing else to say.

"Bella," I tried again. "when Alice told me that she thought you were…" I still couldn't say dead. It was too real. "I made a mistake. Leaving you."

She still didn't speak and I had to leave; the tension was suffocating, for someone who didn't need to breathe I was doing all I could to get air. "I just had to tell you. To see you."

"You want me to forgive you?" her voice was a question and it hurt that she sounded so appalled.

"Bella," I took her hand in mine and she snatched it away. I had never seen her behave with such conviction; it was like she was a new person. I wondered briefly if the hurt showed on my face.

"Edward," her breath hitched slightly as my name escaped her soft lips, "I appreciate your apology. I think you should go though; Charlie could hear us." She looked pointedly at the door as though Charlie would burst through any second. I could hear him in the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinet.

I nodded, understanding she didn't want me in her life and I ducked out the window. How could I have been so naïve? Thinking she would accept me after what I did. I left her in the woods because of an accident. I should never have been so deeply misunderstanding. Jasper meant no harm, and she was in danger every day, it wasn't my family's fault, or my fault; it was just a fact for mortals.

I sat in the rental car, not moving, focusing on the black of the road ahead. I should have called. I should never have come. I should have let her move on.

"Edward?" I heard the whisper, as though the wind were mocking me.

I looked to see her in her window, looking down on the ground for me.

I sprang from the car, up to her bedroom, eagerly awaiting her words.

"Edward," she breathed, "you killed me when you left. Everything I thought I was, was because of you. I felt like you took me away with you, like all I was here in Forks was a shell of who I should be. I was lost, confused, and hopeless. I am having a hard time with seeing you here." And I could see that she was as tears pricked her eyes and her amazingly strong voice shook.

"I'm so sorry Bella," I wanted to hold her but I held back this time. "I should never have hurt you. It kills me that I hurt you."

"Then I guess we both died that day." She was strengthening again. "Edward, thank you for apologizing."

Had I expected more? Had I thought she would let me hold her? Comfort her? I had. I had fooled myself into believing she would still want me.

"I love you Bella. Take care." I allowed myself to brush back a stray lock of hair from her face, she stiffened at my touch (or perhaps my words?) and I dropped my hand.

"Bye Edward." She breathed the words as though she wanted to say more but didn't know how.

I left again, this time I drove away, tired of the pain.

I hadn't seen Bella in months, since that horrible conversation in her room. I had gone to Alaska to spend some time with the Denali's and clear my head. A true glutton for punishment I found myself at the legion hall, at the graduation party the school put together. I had found out through Alice that Bella planned on attending the University of Washington, so she could be close to Charlie and Jacob. This last note bothered me. Alice had never said specifically (and she tried hard not to think about it when I was around) that Bella and Jacob were together, but I figured that would be the only logical explanation.

The party is in full swing but I could smell Bella by the speakers. She was talking to Jessica and Angela, reminiscing about school and life. I feel a stab of need, wanting to go to her; I resist. Then I smell it; wolf. I search wildly; I see the wolf talking to Bella. I start toward them and then the wolf perks up, his head cranes toward me and Alice. His grimace confirms, he knows what we are as well. I dig into his thoughts; he wants to know what I'm doing here; he wonders if I'm Edward. So… he's Jacob.

"Edward?" Bella asks confused. "Alice." Alice goes to Bella and hugs her as though the wolf standing a foot from her is no big deal.

"Bella, congratulations on graduating." Alice smiles and Bella returns the grin.

"Thanks Alice. What are you doing here?" she asks both of us, but her eyes look to me.

"Just here to congratulate you." Alice says, "Great party."

Bella looks around, "Yea, it's nice."

I notice Jacob slip his hand into Bella's and she accepts it. He is doing it as a claim, she is accepting and it makes me cringe. I read into his mind, _back off_. Loud and clear.

"I should be going." I say loudly, interrupting Jacob's thoughts. "Congratulations Bella."

I turn to leave, realizing this was a horrible idea.

"Edward." Bella chases after me and I finally stop in the quiet of the parking lot.

"Bella, I shouldn't have come. Alice convinced me you and I could be friends, but I can't."

"I imprinted." She blurts out. I can tell she wants to say more, but she doesn't.

"That's a wolf ritual." I say.

"With Jacob." She continues, driving the knife further into my heart.

"Good." I turn to look at her, steeling my voice, "I'm glad you're happy Bella. Truly."

"Please come back into the party. I… we can try to be friends?" she leaves the sentence as a question, allowing me to accept or decline.

"Okay." I walk with her back into the party and notice more wolves are in attendance. The whole pack must have showed up.

I watch from the sidelines as she chats with everyone; so much more social than she was with me, and from what I know of her even before she moved here to Forks. She has realized herself and who she is and I smile, accepting that she is better without me.

"Kind of a lame party huh?" I hear a voice near me and I sense wolf before I look over.

"Parties aren't my scene." I say, watching Bella move away from Jacob in search of something I don't know what. Jacob kisses her hand as she melts into the crowd and he continues talking with the other wolves.

"Same." She sounds bitter and I finally look over to see who I'm talking to.

The world stops.

The bounding beat in the back of my head reduces to a murmur on the wind; the hot bodies pressed near each other rattling on about life and the meaning of graduation fade to a simmer of sound. Sight and senses are dulled and focused, all I see is her. It's like I've never looked at another girl before in my life; or undead life. This is the only thing I'm meant to see. Like every choice and path in the world has brought me to this world. To this one moment.

She looks startled as she sits up straighter, looking into my eyes in confusion, but I can see the faintest hint of a smile on her stern, jaded face. "Leah." She breathes her name and I inhale it like it is my source of life. For once, I am not thirsty, only hungry for her.

"Edward." I extend my hand, a formal gesture. She takes it and our instant connection shocks me further.

Her hand is warm, secure and warm; a feeling I have never experienced. I feel like my body is alive; for the first time since I became a vampire I truly _feel. _Her breath hitches and a true smile ignites her eyes and I find myself lost in them. The size, their milk chocolate coloring, I need more of her.

"Do you want to go someplace quiet to talk?" I ask, feeling alive, daring.

"Yea." She bites her bottom lip, like she's not sure what is happening.

We stand together, still hand in hand. I let go momentarily only to hold hands again as we walk out of the building. I smile as we walk into the night, two creatures that shouldn't be possible, but are. I feel this is my ending, my beginning, and everything in between.

An Edward Ending :D


End file.
